amsterdam

Amsterdam has a reputation. We all know this. We have all heard of the Dam.

To emphasize, this is what happened when I would tell people I was coming to The Netherlands to study.

Brian: I'm going to The Netherlands.

Stoner Kid from High School at a Party: Where?

Brian: The Netherlands. Like.. Holland.

SKFHSAAP: Where?

Brian: ...Amsterdam.

SKFHSATP: All riiiiiight.

Brian: I'm going to The Netherlands.

A Friend of my Mother's: Where?

Brian: Kind of near Amsterdam.

AFOMM: [eyes widen] Oh. Well, you be careful.

And then when I got back...

Bonnie: So did you go to Amsterdam?

Brian: Yeah, it was great.

Bonnie: So... did you get stoned?

THAT'S MY MOTHER TALKING TO ME. COME ON, GUYS.

But I hit the streets of the Dam this weekend, and let me say it both defied and lived up to my expectations. First of all, when I pictured Amsterdam, I pictured something like New York, large and loud and with noise everywhere - tall buildings and bright lights and, let's face it, sex drugs and more sex.

Well - remember how I said Maastricht was like a blend of modern and antique, separated by a large bridge? Amsterdam was like that - bricks, bricks, bricks everywhere. The streets themselves were paved with warm rust-colored brick, and the buildings were all old and some of them crumbly, stone facades and tiny cramped gray sidewalks. It was surprisingly familiar at this point, speckled and dotted with churches decorated with puffy blue-and-red orbs of concrete, Corinthian pillars framing the windows, and with belltowers rising above us, shining gold gilt highlights on doorframes and corners. Canals criss-crossed the city, deep brown waters churning sluggishly by. 

At the same time, Amsterdam was the first city that really sounded like a city, even if when you looked at it, it didn't quite mesh with the sound. Car horns honked, crowds of people chattered like parrots roosting in trees, talking nonsensically and at an impressively loud volume. Trams of blue and white chug on lines through the streets, such new creations slithering through the brick. At night, the bricks and stones were illuminated by flashing rainbows of neon yellow, green, red. The city was like antiquity gone modern, without losing any of its antique charm.  

Collin said it best when he postulated that "Amsterdam is like Bruges's grandson. You know, it's thirteen and has all the genetics but already has all these tattoos and peircings, and they have to see each other at family reunions but, you know, it's awkward."

We arrived on Friday, and spent the first half of the day with Rob Duckers at a museum containing a replica of the gorgeous Arena Chapel in Padua. The walls are quite literally covered in art, scenes from the life of Mary and Jesus in large blocks, beautiful and tragic stories splayed out in crude but evolving art, bright colors, bordered by overwhelming cobalt blue. 

After the sun went down, a red moon had rose heavily over Amsterdam, the infamously named Red Light District glowing with buzzing crimson bulbs of all shapes and sizes. We went to the Moulin Rouge - a sex show. The front of the building featured neon red outlines of very buxom young ladies in all sorts of poses; we went through the door, black plastic tokens to be exchanged for drinks pressed into our hands. We had to clamber up a tight staircase to make it into the showroom, small stage surrounded by benches that were reminiscent of pews in a church gone horribly degenerate.

Act one: a woman danced around with a candle in certain places. Act two: a woman wrote on a man, a marker clenched in her nether region - impeccable handwriting. Act three: four members of the audience invited on stage - including our own Allie and Rachel - to dance with the performer, and then eat a banana off of her body. ("It was a really good banana," one of them said afterwards.) Act four: a man in a monk's robe gets up on stage - so does the scantily clad performer. One thing leads to another and they have sex for fifteen minutes, and then get up and leave the room to scattered applause. All this amongst bright strobe lights and deep fog. Wow.

The Red Light District, let me tell you. It was such a.. strange experience, because there were the sex workers, separated from me only by a window of glass. Their expressions were of desire, longing, even happiness, but it must have been a mask. They were bathed in the dim red light that hung above their doors. Crowds of onlookers gathered at a safe distance, chattering in languages other than Dutch: English, French, German. It was a bizarre human zoo, and it made me feel mildly uncomfortable, a knot of dehumanization growing and tugging at my insides. 

Incidentally, we had a sex worker come into one of our classes last week and talk about how it's NOT ALL BAD for sex workers, prostitutes, whatever you call them. Some of them choose it as a line of work. Some of them ENJOY the work, for that matter. 

It was still very strange.

The next day, on an educational note, we hit up the Anne Frank House and the Van Gogh museum. The former was... an experience. Small, cramped, with crumbling red and yellow wallpaper. I don't know what I can say about it that hasn't been said a million times before, and more eloquently to boot. Anne Frank has become such a martyr, such a face for the millions, and being there, in the place she lived for two years, was strange, suffocating but relieving.

The Van Gogh Museum was art. Lots of it. My favorite things were the scribbles, immaculate doodles on letters and menus, pencil lines over and over creating things far more beautiful than I could ever possibly do. Such talent. You get close to a painting, and it's small dabs of color, messy little lines that, when you step back and take in the whole canvas, are insane blends of color and texture, portraits and landscapes. I never feel as though I can entirely appreciate art. But here, I came pretty close.

That night was bar-hopping, glowing green shots and sweet yellow drinks, ice clacking against the glasses, big smiles and loud laughter and hot, hot pizza and french fries late at night. It is a thudding in my head, a street populated by sex shops with instruments in the windows I couldn't possibly imagine being used by anyone, and when I try to picture it, I feel phantom pain for the people who stick those things ANYWHERE on their body. It is clamoring down dark alleys and bright streets and phallic monuments and dark canals lit by buzzing fireflies of streetlights.

"Dear Amsterdam," Greg said. "STOP IT."

Nice summary.

(Also, for any of you who may care, the above was said specifically in reference to the large population of attractive women who take to the streets of Amsterdam in comparison to the other towns in the Netherlands. Fun fact.)

This weekend is our first travel break: London, Dublin and Paris. When she went to London and Paris in Baby-Sitter's Club Super Special #15: Baby-Sitters European Vacation, Mallory Pike discovered she was related to Shakespeare. What mysteries await me? Time will tell.